Here in this exhilarating and everlasting fun land, living modern yet amidst so much Chinese history, surrounded by volcanoes, typhoons, neon signs, tea shops, noodles bars, costume parties, and cockroaches, guys…still I’m really fucking lonely. Put all this traveling and amazing life experiences stuff aside for a minute; let me tell you about EMOtions. Loneliness is evil, it manipulates the mind, creates insecurities where once there were none, and generates uncertainties in…well, everything. The only thing in my life I’ve ever been insecure about is my monster shoulders (right…so these days I’m convinced I’m looking like a lady boy from the behind). But being alone in Taiwan, with the distance between the people I love becoming more and more apparent…my feelings are becoming vicious and unpredictable and there has been more than a few moments that I’ve recognized how badly I need to pull my shit together. It’s making me weak, softening me in every way that I was once so strong. But in saying this, in areas that I may have once been weak, I’m strengthening. Catch 22, or something, right? I’m a Scorpio, I’m intense in everything I do and become involved with, so all these new sensations are being fired out of me with forces that are overwhelming and terrifying. It’s my birthday next week, I turn 25 and with that I feel that there is even more scariness looming deep in my brain. Relating to things like the future, babies, husbands… Someone tell me, is this just all normal stuff tied into such a milestone approaching? Why didn’t anyone warn me about getting older, how age tries to play with your mind? Like really, am I talking about babies and husbands here??? SEEEE, SOMEONE HURRY, COME HERE AND BRING ME BACK TO MY PLAYFUL REALITY FULL OF COTTON CANDY AND UNICORNS. So I’m having these moments, thanks all for putting up with my phone calls and texts over there in Canada. Love yous.

In the last week, I’ve discovered that Pump Up The Jam by Technotronic is one of the best songs of all time, become addicted to Coldstone (cheesecake ice cream with strawberries, whipped cream, and yellow cake), learned gibberish (adding idig before every vowel in every word… like tridigy thidigis oidigut lidigoidigud means try this out loud), watched the sunset from Lover’s Bridge in Danshui (alone), and zipped almost 400 kilometers in 90 minutes to Koahsiung, Taiwan on a whirlwind of an adventure. I’m pretty sure Taz can’t even go that fast. Connecting most of Taiwan’s western cities, the High Speed Rail runs North to South to most cities, these are trains using Japan’s bullet train technology and topping speeds up to 315 km/hour. Imagine getting from Ottawa to Toronto in 90 minutes…for $40CAD. Also imagine being able to bring your own beers from 7-11, and six of you swing your seats around to face one another to do the wave every time someone walks by. We like, we like to party! The trains go SO FAST that you can barely catch a phone signal, and your ears hum, not like when your traveling at high altitudes and your ears pop form the change in pressure, but you can feel the speed in your ears by a gentle electric hum. We forgot to play that good old ping pong game, too drunko, next time!

WE ARE TAIWANESE, NOT CHINESE

…a huge banner reads near Renai Road and Fuxing. I woke up to this cheerful parade last Saturday:

When I write these entries, it’s usually after a few pints, maybe some hash, and I’m on a roll. I write and write and write my little heart out, then go back to edit. When I finished writing today, pre edit, I ventured out into Shida night market for a treat. Of all the unusual culinary concoctions Asia offers me, Dan Bing being my favorite, today my palette was treated to the most peculiar of all. But first, let me tell you about Dan Bing. I order my Dan Bing in the mornings with bacon and cheese. It’s an egg (with bacon and cheese, obvs) fried with some type of crepe and green onion type thing overtop, rolled up and covered in a brown sweet sauce. Served with a side of lo buo gao (white radish cake). All this in 30 seconds, for 30 NT ($1CAD). Breakfast EVERYDAY. Fuck yeah. So, craving something sweet, tonight I stop at an ice cream stand, foreigner run…can’t remember from where this fella was. I spent 5 minutes sampling flavors like garlic ice cream, green tea ice cream, dark beer, cheese (not delish Cheesecake a la Coldstone, I mean like cold cream old cheddar), and black sesame. My taste buds still being western, I settled on chocolate and meandered on home to spread the word, garlic ice cream. Woah. But this is Taiwan’s appeal to me, weirding me out. I like weird, I like what I’m not accustomed too. Here, you don’t ask for Kleenex, you ask for a tissue. Q-tips are cotton swabs and Band-aids are bandages. A few weeks ago I might have written kleenex, q-tips, and band-aids. Think about that. I like how they think here, the open mindedness. If you see three people to a scooter, you don’t think ‘oh my god, they’re gonna die’…but you think ‘hey! there’s still room for one more…’

Monday is my birthday. Send me presents.